Pushing Beyond Your Fears
Do you feel like your fears hold you back from turning ideas, goals and dreams into reality? Does the idea of pushing beyond your fears seem really daunting? If this sounds like you, read on.
Fears are reinforced by the endless negative self-talk going on inside our minds, talking us out of moving forward and crushing the belief we can achieve goals, regardless of whether they are big or small. Did you know when we have an idea it takes a mere few seconds for our fears to kick in, urging the inner critic to start talking us out of what we want to do? Almost immediately, we start listening to a reel of thoughts such as, “I can’t do that”, “I’m not good enough”, “People will think I’m silly if I do this”, “I’ll probably fail” and many other variations of these. In most instances, this persistent train of thought stops us from having a positive mindset, pushing beyond fears and experiencing the joy of achieving things we didn’t think possible.
So how do you go about pushing beyond your fears to allow for personal growth and attainment of goals?
- Understand that it is often your own mindset stopping you from moving forward and that it may be limiting what you can achieve
- Recognise when negative self-talk has kicked in and accept that if you continue to listen, then you are possibly letting yourself be talked out of achieving your goals
- Challenge the evidence supporting the negative statements going through your mind i.e. where is the evidence that I can’t do this, what is really stopping me from doing this, is what people think more important than me having a go?
- Ask yourself what is the thing you fear and what can you do to feel better about it i.e. do you need more knowledge, do you need more skills, or do you simply need to push forward and show yourself you can do it
- Take positive action to overcome the obstacles stopping you moving forward i.e. if you need more knowledge or skills, then make a point of learning what you need, or if you want to join a group but don’t feel confident enough to do so, then ask a friend to come along for moral support
- Use a journal to track your fears. Sometimes getting things down on paper and out of your head can help with gaining more perspective and clarity and help you to reframe your negative thoughts
- Push yourself to move past the negative self-talk and think positively about what you can do. When the fears kick in, challenge yourself to keep moving forward, focus on positive self-talk and be brave enough to simply try! You might just surprise yourself with what you can actually do
- Think like a friend. Sometimes when we talk to ourselves, we put ourselves down, exaggerate and say things about ourselves that we would never say to a friend. Practice talking to yourself in the same encouraging way you would talk to a friend
- Persevere! Remember we get better at things the more often we do them
- Surround yourself with positive people. Choose to have people around you who understand your fears and who want to see you achieve your goals. Surrounding yourself with positive motivating people will help you keep moving forward and challenge you to step outside your comfort zone.
- Seek help from support groups, counselling, mentors etc. Sometimes its easier to gain clarity by talking to an impartial person who doesn’t know you and who can look at your situation objectively. An impartial, non-judgemental person can help you to honestly and openly examine your fears, reframe how you think about yourself and plan how you would like to move forward.
If you feel counselling could help with pushing beyond your fears, call Karen Cummins at Mindful Crossroads counselling services on 0400 416 535 or fill in the “Contact” section on the Mindful Crossroads website to arrange a confidential discussion.